1) This blonde went to a store to buy a tv. She asked the clerk how much the tv was. the clerk says "Sorry ma'am, but i aint selling no tv to no dumb blonde." So the blonde went home and dyed her hair brown. she went back to the store and asked the clerk if she could buy the tv. The clerk said "Sorry ma'am, i aint sellin no tv to no dumb blonde." So she went back home and dyed her hair black. She went back and asked again. the clerk said "Sorry ma'am, i aint sellin no tv to no dumb blonde." So she went back home, and she shaved her head. she went back to the store and asked if she could by the tv. Once again, the clerk said "Sorry ma'am, i aint sellin no tv to no dumb blonde." Then the blonde got madd and yelled "WHATS THE MATTER WITH YOU?! I HAVE DYED MY HAIR BLACK, BROWN, AND I HAVE SHAVED MY HEAD! WHY WONT YOU SELL ME THE TV?!!!" and the clerk said, "Cause that aint a tv, it's a microwave."

2) A blonde had left the grocery store and put her groceries in her back seat. She was driving down the road, and she heard something pop. there were cops behind her, and she was yelling "AHH! AHH! THEY'RE SHOOTING ME!!!" The cop pulled her over and went to her window. She looked up at the cop, hand behind her head pressed against her head, and she said "They shot me and im holding my brains in!" The cop looked in her back seat, and the pop noise came from a can of potatoes. The blonde was holding potatoes against her head!

I believe thats all i got... XD